Introduction:
Every life is a story, a book, but mine has never been the kind you could understand just by looking at the first page. No one in this world is perfect, and I am not an exception. We all take our own paths to where we stand today. Those paths are filled with unexpected turns, silent battles, ups and downs, and small victories that shape the kind of person we become. This is not just a story of where I have been. It is also about what I have learned, what I have lost, and what I continue to chase.
On June 9, 2005, I was born in the City of Naguilian, Isabela. I am the fourth and youngest child to carry on my family’s bloodline. I consider that day the true beginning of my journey. My arrival brought both joy and new challenges to my family. From the very start, I was surrounded with love and support, and those early moments became the foundation of my story.
Body:
As I went through the age of innocence, my childhood unfolded with memories that shaped my first understanding of the world. But not all of those memories were filled with joy. One of the hardest realities I faced was losing my father at a young age. He died in a motorcycle accident. It happened on the night of [date of death]. My father and his two co-workers had been drinking at our house. My older brother and I were there, while my mother was still in Manila, working hard to support us. Later that night, my father and his co-workers decided to go out. That was the last time I saw him alive.
Early the next morning, the news reached us. I still remember the scene vividly. My brother and I were on a duyan or swing when we were told about our father’s death. My brother was shocked, but I was too young to fully understand. I did not know how to react, so I just cried.
Growing up without a father was difficult. My mother carried the heavy burden of raising us, and at times she expressed her struggles in ways that were hard for me to understand as a child. I still remember one incident when she scolded me for pooping in the tabo. She was furious that day and locked me inside a drum half-filled with water. She covered it with a palanggana weighed down with heavy objects. Inside, it was dark and terrifying. I cried nonstop, begging for forgiveness. I do not remember how long I stayed there, but eventually she let me out. Still, I was beaten with a stick afterward. I cried until I had no tears left.
Despite being strict, my mother was also our greatest source of strength. She carried the role of both parent and provider. Eventually, she made the difficult decision to work abroad to support us. Eight years ago, I still remember the night she left. Before I went to sleep, she told me she would be gone for a while and that I would live with my eldest brother, who already had a family of his own. That marked the beginning of my teenage years.
As I entered this new chapter, life felt different without my mother’s presence. Living with my brother’s family meant adapting to a new environment and new rules. I was already in high school when I moved in with him, which also meant transferring to a new school. At first, it was overwhelming since I was the only one who didn’t know anyone there, but little by little I adjusted. I met new friends who made my everyday life happier and gave me memories to cherish. School wasn’t always easy. I faced challenges both in academics and in finding where I fit in. But those struggles pushed me to see things differently and grow stronger than before. Just as I was beginning to feel settled in this routine, an unexpected challenge shook not only my life but the whole world: the pandemic.
The pandemic changed everything. It made us more attached to social media. All classes were held online. Influencers, content creators, and live sellers filled every platform. It was an era of isolation, uncertainty, and never-ending hope for it to be over. But like all storms, it eventually passed. Schools opened again and temporary rules were implemented. Everyone needed to wear masks and carry alcohol for protection. After a few months, wearing masks was no longer mandatory, and our country was finally declared COVID-free. But even then, the struggle continued.
I always talk about the struggles in my life, but now let me share a part of my romantic life. There was a woman in my class who was an academic achiever. We first started talking on Messenger when our teacher gave us an activity to make a short film. I was assigned to create the poster, and she was part of the team too. After exchanging a lot of messages, planning about the poster, and sharing ideas, we became friends. That was when I started falling for her. When we finished the poster, I overthought that it might be the last time we would ever exchange messages. But I did not lose hope. I kept messaging her, even when it wasn’t necessary, because talking to her made my day. What she didn’t know was that she was my type and that I liked her.
One night, while we were having deep talks on Messenger, she shared something that shocked me. She said she was waiting for someone. I was left speechless. Since she didn’t know about my feelings, I just acted with kindness. We continued talking for months after that, but we eventually graduated without her ever knowing what I truly felt.
Months after graduation, I finally confessed. She told me she already knew because of the way I treated her. She also told me that college life was very draining, and it would be better for me to focus on academics first and set aside my feelings. Then she sent me one last message that left me with mixed emotions: “saka na kapag degree holder na tayo.” That was the last time we talked. I did not know what to say to her that night. I just tried to be silly with my messages to hide my emotions.
Now that we are both in college, we are still in the same university but not the same campus. I am here in Cauayan, and she is in Ilagan. Maybe it is for the best, since we both need to focus on our studies. Looking back, I realized that love, just like life, does not always follow the timing we want. But it always leaves lessons that shape who we are.
Climax:
Now, here I am, still conquering the seas of college life. College is completely different from high school. Everything feels faster, heavier, and more demanding. Passing a subject is stressful, especially when I see others taking shortcuts while I push myself to do things the right way. There are times when I feel drained and question myself: “Do I really love this? Is this what I really want to do?” So many what ifs come to mind.
But despite those doubts, I have managed to climb the mountain. Now that I am in my third year, I realize that maybe I really do love being an IT student. The challenges, the sleepless nights, and the endless projects have all shaped me into someone stronger and more resilient. Looking back at where I started, from a child full of innocence and struggles to the person I am now, I can say that I have truly come a long way.